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You've separated, and now you've reconciled. What now?

on Thursday, 13 March 2025.

How does reconciliation impact divorce proceedings, and how you can protect yourself if the relationship breaks down again?

What happens to the divorce?

The divorce process factors in a 20-week period between the initial application and the 'conditional order' to reflect on your decision to divorce and help ensure you've made the right decision.

If you reconcile during this period, it may be advisable not to withdraw the application straight away.

The reason for this is if the relationship breaks down again, you should be able to resume your original divorce application and avoid a second court fee, it will depend on what stage your divorce has reached, and how long you've been reconciled for.

Reconciliations of less than two years will not generally prevent the court from making a final order; however, a longer period of reconciliation may undermine the original basis for divorce i.e. that the marriage had broken down when you first separated.

What can you do to ensure a successful reconciliation?

Couples counselling or individual counselling to identify the issues that led to your separation can  equip you with the necessary tools to address these issues and help to ensure the relationship survives. There are many counselling services available to help you strengthen your relationship.

How do you protect yourself if the relationship breaks down again?

Whilst we hope that your reconciliation is successful, you may want to consider taking steps to put yourself in a stronger position if the relationship breaks down again, particularly if you have not had knowledge or control of the family finances. You may want to ensure that going forward;

  • You have access to any joint accounts and monitor the transactions going through that account. If you do notice anything that looks suspicious, take advice from a family lawyer, and consider how you would like to proceed.
  • You and your partner are fully transparent with each other about your finances i.e. the accounts that you have, the assets you own and any debts you owe.
  • Any joint assets are in your joint names. If the matrimonial/family home is owned solely by your partner, and it is not possible to place the family home into the joint names of both parties, it may be worth registering your 'home rights' with the Land Registry. This will prevent your partner from selling the property without your knowledge.
  • You understand what the position would be on the death of your partner and vice versa.
  • Review your Will and any life policies to ensure that your estate is distributed in accordance with your wishes in the event of your death.
  • You have access to your own funds. You may want to ensure you have your own savings and are able to fund your legal fees, if you do need to proceed with the divorce and/or move out.

Should you consider a legal agreement?

Unlike a prenuptial agreement, which is entered into before marriage or civil partnership, a postnuptial agreement is entered into after marriage or civil partnership. The agreement can set out how your assets will be dealt with on divorce and distinguish between what is solely owned by you or your partner, and what is jointly owned. By establishing clear terms, a post-nuptial agreement can help reduce future conflict.

Although post nuptial agreements are not legally binding, they are persuasive. In our experience the courts are more willing to uphold them in circumstances where they have been entered into freely, parties have had legal advice and understand the implications of the agreement, and it is fair to hold the parties to the agreement because it meets the needs of both parties. 

 Alternatively, you could enter into a 'reconciliation contract' with your partner which could outline any commitments, promises or agreements you have made to each other during the reconciliation and how you intend to manage your joint finances going forward, in addition to how your finances will be divided if the relationship breaks down. Although relatively new, these are becoming more popular amongst reconciled couples.  

We hope you have found this useful and wish you the best of luck with your reconciliation.

*This article is not intended to be legal advice and specific advice in relation to individual circumstances should be obtained from a solicitor or family law specialist to assist with the matters raised in this article.


For more information or advice, please contact our New Enquiries team on 020 7405 1234, or complete the form below.

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